Rajeev Verma
What is emotional cheating?
“Emotional cheating” is a particular type of secretive, sustained closeness with someone who isn’t your primary partner.
Typically, an emotional affair tends to start with the basic exchange of personal information. Then, as two people develop a deeper platonic friendship or connection, what started as innocent information swapping — like names and perhaps phone numbers or email addresses — can begin to culminate in a deeper level of intimacy.
It’s one person making a unilateral decision to cultivate nonsexual intimacy with someone other than their primary romantic partner in a way that weakens or undermines the relationship.
Cheating and affairs aren’t always just physical. Even if your partner is not physically active with another person, they may still be ’emotionally cheating’. Here are the signs to look out for so you and your partner can talk.
When you get into a relationship with someone, you expect them to be honest with you. On this trust, you connect with them emotionally. But many times you make a mistake in understanding the person in front of you and that person cheats you emotionally i.e. keeps cheating you emotionally. I am not saying that boys or girls cheat more emotionally, but generally girls are unable to tolerate this kind of cheating and they face more problems. Therefore girls should stay away from such a person.
How to know if someone is emotionally cheating ?
One way to “diagnose” whether you or your partner are engaging in emotional cheating is to look at the impact.
Does the outside connection strengthen or weaken your bond with your partner? Does the intimacy you have with someone else—a co-worker, Facebook friend, trainer at the gym, or yoga teacher—support your closeness with your partner or erode it?
Many times people commit emotional cheating in relationships, which is not easy to detect. Know such signs which can tell that your partner is cheating emotionally.
I am telling you signs which can help you understand that your partner is emotionally cheating on you.
Partner gives more importance to a third person than you. The most important thing in any relationship is mutual understanding and affection. If your partner is giving more importance to someone around you than you, then there may be a possibility that he/she is cheating on you emotionally. If your partner talks more closely with a third person, spends more time with you or talks about the same thing while being with you, then it is possible that he/she is more fond of that person than you.
If your partner fights with you unnecessarily
Small disputes keep going on in relationships. But if your partner starts fighting with you without any solid reason, tries to dominate you all the time and tries to get his/her points across by showing anger, then there is some possibility that he/she may abuse you emotionally. Is cheating, a person expresses excessive emotion without any reason only when he/she wants to hide something. Be it anger or love.
If your partner lies to you most of the time
There are very few situations in life when a person has to lie to his partner. But if your partner lies to you most of the times or you catch his/her mistakes, then understand that he/she is holding many such things in his life which he/she does not want to tell you. In most of such cases, the partner is cheating emotionally. Trying to entertain and persuade you by telling lies again and again is his/her emotional deception.
He/She hides messages on his/her phone
Personal space is very important in any relationship, but if your partner hides his or her text or phone messages from you—especially if they’re from a special someone—that may also be emotional cheating. They try to hide their conversations from you which means they know somewhere they are not right.
Downplay your resentment
Even if you have expressed your displeasure to your partner regarding a third person, it is not having any effect on him/her. Either they are asking you to keep quiet or they may be secretly maintaining a relationship with that third person to prevent the situation from escalating. If, despite what you say, he/she does not want to end his relationship with a third person, then you need to be careful.
Defensiveness: Becoming defensive or evasive when questioned about their interactions with the other person. They may deflect or minimize concerns raised by their partner, refusing to acknowledge the significance of their behavior.
If you catch your partner cheating
If you have caught your partner cheating on himself, after which he/she is making various excuses and trying to be more civilized or polite than necessary to convince you, then it is possible that he/she is going to break up with you. The one who cheats is cheating emotionally. In such a situation, you should take a decision based on the seriousness of the mistake and based on your heart.
They even lie about where they are
If your partner lies about hanging out with someone, and continues to meet them even when you are not comfortable with them, then this is also a sign of emotional cheating. They may lie because they think you will be uncomfortable, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are lying to you and hiding important things instead of telling you.
Most of the time quarrel, sometimes too much love. Many times it happens that partners quarrel with you most of the time and do not care about you, but at some times they show a lot of love and are ready to accept every small and big thing of yours. This cannot be called mood swings, rather it is a kind of emotional cheating. Because usually people do this only when they want to get their point across or take some benefit from you.
If your partner doesn’t want you around while using his/her phone or if you go around him/her at that time and he/she gets angry with you then this is a sign which you should not ignore. Not only this, if he/she has suddenly increased his use of texting and social media or he/she has started preferring to use it in the bathroom instead of the living room, then it tells that he/she is hiding something from you.
If your partner’s nature has started changing. For example, now he/she does not care for you like before. They don’t care whether you ate food or not. Or he/she does not consider it necessary to call or message you even once a day. If he/she makes excuses when it comes to going out or if he/she remains glued to his phone all the time even when you go out on a dinner date, these are all signs that he/she is not emotionally connected to you the way you are. Are connected to them.
Some people feel alone even after being in a relationship. Even after spending more and more time together, a situation may arise when you stop feeling affection from your partner. This also happens because despite maintaining the relationship with complete honesty, you are not getting the response you expect from your partner. It may also happen that you have made a mistake in understanding your partner and he is cheating on you emotionally.
Conclusion:
Navigating through the aftermath of emotional cheating is undoubtedly challenging, but with patience, understanding, and support, it is possible to heal and rebuild trust within the relationship. By acknowledging your feelings, setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care, you can take proactive steps toward healing and personal growth. However, it’s essential to recognize that dealing with emotional cheating is a complex process that may benefit from professional guidance and expertise.
Quick review of Emotional cheating signs:
* Your partner shares feelings with someone else and not you.
* If you try to share or talk your partner gets irritated.
* There is no talk and frustration, anger and fights in your relationship on daily basis.
* Your partner finds you irritable and gets comfort with other person.
* They are always busy in chatting or talking to that other person.
* Your partner shares your relationships conflicts with other person for solution.
* They always compare and wish you to be like this other person.
* They change password of phone and laptop and hesitate in sharing with you.
* They hide emails, messages and chats from you.
* You can see an increase in phone chats engagement in your partner.
* Your partner is continuously detaching from you after meeting that other person.
* Less sex frequency.
* No pleasure while doing sex.
* No communication with you regarding important decisions.
* No interest in resolving fights with you.
* No deeper talks or sharing feelings with you.
* They make you feel bad or guilt if you try to question their relationship with other person.
* There is no involvement with you which was there before the outsider came.
* Whenever they talk to you try to talk about the other person.
* Your partner has stopped express their feelings and love.
* Your partner likes to spend alone time with phone.
Please let me know what you think about this article on mental well-being in the comments below.
RAJEEV VERMA 